The way life goes.....

I was thinking this week (just in a general way, not in a depressing way at all!) and I was thinking about how funny it is where life takes us. I've said before that I always love the quote from John Lennon's lyrics 'life is what happens to us when you are busy making other plans'.
There are some things we wish for and some things we just do. There are some things other people presume about us and other things we just do. There are things that are expected of us (from ourselves and the people around us) and the things we just do!
As a child of the age of six I can remember thinking that school wasn't for me! I can remember lying on the floor of my parents lounge room looking at the imprinted triangles in their ceiling (yes we are European and my parents house was built in the seventies so there was/is a pattern imprinted into the ceiling) listening to records (YES, records, they were what we listened to before CDs, there was no Itunes back then!!) and wishing to be 17 and out of school. Most kids love school, but I wanted my freedom, my Independence, from such a young age, I already recognised that I was a little different.
I had such a different upbringing from my brother and sisters. With such a huge gap between me and my siblings, I had the best of both worlds. In some ways I was raised as an only child and in other ways I was raised with so many people trying to play the role of my parents. My dad was the provider who went out early every day to earn a living to provide for his family. My mum had quality time to spend with me because all the rest of her children were at school or university. She taught me to read and write earlier than most and the games, oh the games! Mum had so much time to play with me that I really didn't know how good I had it, and the dancing, oh the dancing!!! Mum and I used to dance together like crazy people! (these are memories I cherish). Every Thursday night Dad and I used to go to Morley shopping centre (before it was the Galleria) and buy lotto and scratch instant lottery scratchies together. We would wander around window shopping together. Sometimes on Saturday mornings(back when the shops closed at 1pm on a Saturday) we would go into the city on the bus together and wander around and then get doughnuts from Boans (yes pre Myer!!!)I really had the life. These moments will stay with me forever! I was blessed!
I was always a very independent person. When I was 8 I used to hang out at my next door neighbour's house while her parents were at work. We were two 8 year old girls with total reign over her house, free to do whatever we wanted. It was never questioned, we just assumed it was o.k. We would go to the park and the shops whenever we wanted (usually on roller skates). We watched Grease, Grease2 and Xanadu almost every single day! We had the life.
When I was 16/17 I never felt the need to lie about going to bars where I needed to be 18, I told my parents. My siblings called me a spoilt brat (they still do!)! I was just honest (about most things) and I felt no need to lie. Of course I kept secrets, all teenagers do, but I was so independent that I never felt the need to ask permission. When I was 15 (1990) I set a date to go to England in November 1996 ( when I was 19)I never told anyone about this goal. In November 1996 went to England for nearly a year!
I'm still independent! I always have been. I find other people's opinions interesting. I find it interesting that people are so concerned that I am a 34 year old single women. People became so concerned that I actually started to question myself!I don't do that any more. In the last 3 years Ive learnt more about myself than I have in my whole lifetime! I find it interesting to note that (some) people fail to see how truly blessed I am. I have a strong family and amazing friends. I find it interesting that people can question me so much that sometimes I question myself! I find it interesting that people like to remind me of what I don't have, (a husband and children) when I feel completely blessed for what I do have.
It took me a long time to get here! I don't know what the future holds for me, no one does. Of course children and a partner would be nice but if it doesn't happen, is it really such a tragedy?! I'm not the kind of person who pins all her hopes on one thing, I never have been.
I've learnt so much in the last 3 years. I've learnt not to hope, not to dream, not to wish! I've learnt to live for today and to block out the negativity. I've learnt that this is where life has taken me and I can either live my life or hope for something else. I choose to live my life, why wouldn't I? I'm blessed, and this is where life has taken me.....it really isn't as bad as people make out!!! Honestly!!!

Until next time,
the last single 34 yr old woman