John Lennon once wrote in one of his songs 'life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans'. This is a line that often pops into my head. I'm always thinking about the future and planning things that sometimes I forget to appreciate the small moments in my life. There are so many! Every now and then a simple moment will pop into my head that can make me laugh out loud, smile or even feel sad.
It is amazing how the smallest moments in our lives can mean so much to us.
There are the moments my friends and family have told me they are having a baby, that first second of excitement is so uplifting!
The times my sisters and friends have asked me to be godparent to their child, I always feel so proud.
There are so many moments I can remember laughing until I'm crying. I actually remember at least 3 of these times we had were in a taxi! We were laughing so much we could barely give directions to the driver. Who knows what we were laughing at but the memory of it makes me laugh every time.
I will always remember the moment at my friends house when they put their tiny 2wk old son in my arms and he fell asleep on me, I fell in love with him then and there!
We are a family who doesn't show much affection but I remember once sitting at the dinner table with my Dad (a man who has no time for small talk)when Mum was in hospital and he told me he loved me. That moment will always be so dear to me.
This is a strange one, I remember years ago when I was living in England I was on a bus. As I was standing up to get off the bus I noticed a lighter had fallen out of the pocket of the guy in front of me. I picked it up and gave it to him and as I did I noticed his most amazing eyes and smile. It was like a Hollywood moment as we stared at each other both holding onto the lighter, eventually I had to let go and get off the bus but it was a strange moment. I only ever saw him once again when I got off the double decker bus another time and saw him through the window of the packed bus; we just stared again. A bit soppy for me I know, but yes I'll always remember it!
I remember every single time I've gotten the phone call that someone in my life has died. That feeling of your heart breaking is hard to forget.
Although such a sad day, I'll always cherish the moment at my Uncle and Aunty's funeral (one of the hardest I've ever been too) when I looked up and saw my four closest friends standing there. Words can't describe how comforted I was by that. At the same day I'll always remember one of them walking over to me during the funeral to see if I needed her, another moment that meant so much.
I'll always remember when one of my friends rang me after another funeral and said he was taking me for a coffee, obviously just to get my mind off things. The same friend took me to the zoo one year on my birthday when he knew I wouldn't be doing anything. These small things wouldn't have meant much to him but meant so much to me. (we've already established that friends are everything to me)
There was a moment recently when a friend remembered me saying I'd love to go to a comedy club so she surprised me for my birthday, again, this meant so, so much to me.
I have a friend who lives overseas who seems to have the most amazing timing. About two years ago I was going through some stuff that she would never have known about but at the time she sent me a beautiful card just to say she had been thinking about me. Then again, a few weeks ago I was having a bit of a down day when all of a sudden she text me to say she had just been thinking about me. These little moments just make me feel so good and they actually helped pull me out of the bad stuff I was feeling!
There are the 'good luck' texts, the 'well done' texts and the 'I'm thinking of you' texts.
There are those moments when you suddenly realise that things have changed!
There are those moments when you realise you may have just lost a friendship that you cherish. Even though it may have taken a while for the friendship to perish the hardest moment is when you accept it and let it go. I look back at these friendships with such fondness and know that a little piece of me has has died along with the friendship. Sometimes I bump into those friends and have a nostalgic moment and I wonder if they look back with the same fondness.
There are those moments with my best friends where we just talk and talk and we feel like we've put the whole world right, even for just a moment.
And the dancing, oh I can't forget the dancing. We've had times at hotels or at home where we have danced and danced until we can't dance anymore.
I think we should always cherish every moment! The moments we wish would last forever, the moments we wish had never happened, the moments that make us laugh, the moments that made us cry, the moments we can never get back and the moment that is right now. These are the moments that have formed us, that have put us where we are today! Then there is the excitement of not knowing what the moments that are still to come will bring us!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Age vs Honesty
Coming from such a big family, I've always had little children around me. I also baby sit my good friend's children every now and then, and with my children's party business I'm around kids a lot.
The other day I was looking after my friend's children. I don't think the kids really look at it as me looking after them but more like a play date. (I always remember the little boy asking me why I was allowed to swim without any 'big people' around!!)Anyway the three of us were doing some painting (there is a whole story that I could write of the disaster that came from painting but that could be a whole blog in itself!)
As I was sitting there just casually chatting with a 4 year old and a 6 year old I was thinking about how real kids are. They are completely honest. I always feel like kids can spot a fake a mile away. When you ask a child to do something and they say no, generally when you ask them why they will answer 'because I don't want to'! I love that! You can tell a child off and then 5 seconds later they are playing a game with you. They don't pigeon hole you. You are never just the person who tells them off or just the person to have fun with, children accept the every you in you! (if that makes sense)
Things, however, are not so simple with adults. Lies, deceptions, double standards and backstabbing seem to be accepted as normal parts of adult lives. I've chatted with so many people over the years about the value of their friendships. Most girls I talk to have had close female friends that they are no longer friends with because of backstabbing and bitchiness. At what stage in our lives does our childlike honesty go out the window?
I hate it when standing with a group of people, all friendly and nice and then the second one of them walks off, the others all start bitching about them! I know a lot of that happened in high school, I never expected it to still happen in my thirties.
I think this is why people have always questioned the bond between 'Dominique', 'Priscilla' and myself. No one can seem to fathom how three females can be so close for such a long time. At the moment I feel like we are all stronger than ever but believe me we've all had our moments over the years(as everyone does)but looking back, those moments have usually arisen when other people start interfering with our friendship. Those two haven't pigeon holed me and they know the true me (by pigeon holing I mean when people only see you as one thing, for example if you have one night where you are driving and not drinking some people will always see you as someone who doesn't know how to have a good time!). They accept that sometimes I like to chat to them for ages about everything, or sometimes I like to turn my phone off and disappear for a day or two, They accept that some nights I like to do quiet drinks at home or some nights I like to go nuts and party until the next morning. Dominique has always accepted that Priscilla and I like to drink quite a bit (actually we can out drink most people)sometimes and we both accept that she generally doesn't like to drink as much as us but none of us judge each other for it. After so long, there is very little judgement, just friendship!
I also find that lies never stop as we get older. I am amazingly good at being able to tell when someone is lying to me, and it happens a lot. From all my years of managing in retail I've come across so many lies. Staff members lie all the time about being late, or not showing up to work etc. Customer's lie all the time when trying to return clothes. Most of the time when I know someone is lying I don't call them on it because it isn't worth the hassle. I figure karma will sort it out. I'm not totally innocent,I've had to use lies the years as well, especially now with my business when I have to convince children I am actually a blue fairy. It always amuses me that if you do call someone on a lie they get angry and argumentative even if you have actual evidence it is almost as if they have actually convinced themselves that they are telling the truth.
Of course any conversation about lies will lead to honesty. Honesty is a funny little thing. I find when people say the words 'be honest with me' they mean be a little honest but not totally honest!! Not me! I like total honesty! I find if your feelings get a little hurt by someone being totally honest with you it still doesn't even come close to the feeling of finding out the truth ages later!
I also find that total honesty plays a part in bitching as well. I always find when someone is bitching to you about someone else they tend to embellish the truth a bit. They tend to make the person they are talking about sound worse than they are and they are usually actually leaving out any bad stuff about themselves. The only embellishments I appreciate in my life are on my Wheels and Dollbaby singlets thanks!!
One thing my Grandfather taught me was to 'trust no one' (I think this is a very Scottish thing but also a very useful piece of advice).
One thing my mum always taught me is, if someone is bitching to you about someone else, they are usually bitching to someone else about you! (also a very useful piece of advice that is always in the back of my mind).
As I get older I find myself being more childlike in dealing with double standards and honesty etc. I find it harder to fake it if someone irritates me, I find myself just writing people off if they are constantly lying to me or bitching about me. I find myself not giving a reason when I have to say 'No' to something (I learned that off Oprah). Life is too short to get caught up in all the complications that we create for ourselves. I have an amazing network of real friends around me (those people know who they are)....why would I surround myself with anything less?!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
The other day I was looking after my friend's children. I don't think the kids really look at it as me looking after them but more like a play date. (I always remember the little boy asking me why I was allowed to swim without any 'big people' around!!)Anyway the three of us were doing some painting (there is a whole story that I could write of the disaster that came from painting but that could be a whole blog in itself!)
As I was sitting there just casually chatting with a 4 year old and a 6 year old I was thinking about how real kids are. They are completely honest. I always feel like kids can spot a fake a mile away. When you ask a child to do something and they say no, generally when you ask them why they will answer 'because I don't want to'! I love that! You can tell a child off and then 5 seconds later they are playing a game with you. They don't pigeon hole you. You are never just the person who tells them off or just the person to have fun with, children accept the every you in you! (if that makes sense)
Things, however, are not so simple with adults. Lies, deceptions, double standards and backstabbing seem to be accepted as normal parts of adult lives. I've chatted with so many people over the years about the value of their friendships. Most girls I talk to have had close female friends that they are no longer friends with because of backstabbing and bitchiness. At what stage in our lives does our childlike honesty go out the window?
I hate it when standing with a group of people, all friendly and nice and then the second one of them walks off, the others all start bitching about them! I know a lot of that happened in high school, I never expected it to still happen in my thirties.
I think this is why people have always questioned the bond between 'Dominique', 'Priscilla' and myself. No one can seem to fathom how three females can be so close for such a long time. At the moment I feel like we are all stronger than ever but believe me we've all had our moments over the years(as everyone does)but looking back, those moments have usually arisen when other people start interfering with our friendship. Those two haven't pigeon holed me and they know the true me (by pigeon holing I mean when people only see you as one thing, for example if you have one night where you are driving and not drinking some people will always see you as someone who doesn't know how to have a good time!). They accept that sometimes I like to chat to them for ages about everything, or sometimes I like to turn my phone off and disappear for a day or two, They accept that some nights I like to do quiet drinks at home or some nights I like to go nuts and party until the next morning. Dominique has always accepted that Priscilla and I like to drink quite a bit (actually we can out drink most people)sometimes and we both accept that she generally doesn't like to drink as much as us but none of us judge each other for it. After so long, there is very little judgement, just friendship!
I also find that lies never stop as we get older. I am amazingly good at being able to tell when someone is lying to me, and it happens a lot. From all my years of managing in retail I've come across so many lies. Staff members lie all the time about being late, or not showing up to work etc. Customer's lie all the time when trying to return clothes. Most of the time when I know someone is lying I don't call them on it because it isn't worth the hassle. I figure karma will sort it out. I'm not totally innocent,I've had to use lies the years as well, especially now with my business when I have to convince children I am actually a blue fairy. It always amuses me that if you do call someone on a lie they get angry and argumentative even if you have actual evidence it is almost as if they have actually convinced themselves that they are telling the truth.
Of course any conversation about lies will lead to honesty. Honesty is a funny little thing. I find when people say the words 'be honest with me' they mean be a little honest but not totally honest!! Not me! I like total honesty! I find if your feelings get a little hurt by someone being totally honest with you it still doesn't even come close to the feeling of finding out the truth ages later!
I also find that total honesty plays a part in bitching as well. I always find when someone is bitching to you about someone else they tend to embellish the truth a bit. They tend to make the person they are talking about sound worse than they are and they are usually actually leaving out any bad stuff about themselves. The only embellishments I appreciate in my life are on my Wheels and Dollbaby singlets thanks!!
One thing my Grandfather taught me was to 'trust no one' (I think this is a very Scottish thing but also a very useful piece of advice).
One thing my mum always taught me is, if someone is bitching to you about someone else, they are usually bitching to someone else about you! (also a very useful piece of advice that is always in the back of my mind).
As I get older I find myself being more childlike in dealing with double standards and honesty etc. I find it harder to fake it if someone irritates me, I find myself just writing people off if they are constantly lying to me or bitching about me. I find myself not giving a reason when I have to say 'No' to something (I learned that off Oprah). Life is too short to get caught up in all the complications that we create for ourselves. I have an amazing network of real friends around me (those people know who they are)....why would I surround myself with anything less?!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
Friday, January 22, 2010
I am New York!
I don't know that much about American politics but I always remember reading that when Giuliani was mayor of New York he created the 'No Tolerance' policy for criminals, even for first time offenders. I definitely have developed quite a no tolerance policy of my own. The older I get the less patience I seem to have for the things that irk me. It is funny that sometimes the most frivolous of things can annoy us (or maybe I should just speak for myself!).
One thing I tried to do this year was make a pact with myself to try and lose my temper less. My Scottish/Italian heritage has made me quite a fiery little specimen, so to curb my temper takes quite a bit of what I like to call 'giving birth breathing'!
I realise when I'm trying not to get angry, I develop a kind of quivering, almost-laughing element to my voice as a way of suppressing the fact that I really want to raise my voice and snap! I discovered this just recently when I was out and someone I barely know put their mouth on the straw that was in my Red Bull. Now let me explain something, although I'm not a total germaphobe (?), I have a real problem with swapping spit with someone who I haven't, or have no intention of, shall we say. shared any kind of intimate moment with (tactful enough?). To give you a better understanding, like when someone is talking to me and their spit lands on my lip (this happens more often than you would think and usually alcohol is involved) I pretty much am distracted, for the rest of the conversation by that tiny dot of spit trying to penetrate the skin in my lip!
There have been many occasions where Dominique, Priscilla and myself have motioned to each other to cover our drinks to avoid any straying saliva from whoever we are talking to.
Another example is from quite a few years ago. I was out at a casual dinner with a group of people. One of the people was a kind of well known musician (in his day) who, at the time, was on my top 5 list. I ordered the Turkish bread and dips (one of my favourite simple meals) and offered it around the table, the musician took some bread and double dipped it in my dips (no this is not some kind of sexual metaphor, it is literal) he dipped the bread, took a bite and then dipped again. Now even though, (at the time)I thought he was HOT, (remember, top 5!) I still had to pull him up on it. His response: 'we all have the same spit'! AH NO, NO WE DO NOT!!
So back to the straw incident, I quickly detached my red bull from the straw. Then I realised I was causing a little mini commotion so I toned it down and all of a sudden my voice had that quivering, laughing thing going on. Meanwhile, I had lifted my free hand and dug my nails into my friend's arm to try and suppress the anger, I think he still has the nail marks!
So this all got me thinking about other things I am not tolerant of.
I always had a funny thing about strange girl's in bars and clubs accidentally brushing their hair against my bare shoulders or back. I'm not actually sure if this one still bothers me!
I hate it when someone open mouth sneezes so close to me that I can smell it. I have never discussed the sneeze smell with anyone until recently when my friends' 6 year old son brought up the subject. (Is it strange that I'm relating to a six yr old? He is six and a half after all!)
The words 'smile luv, its not that bad' grate on me in a way you wouldn't even believe! The sides of my mouth turn down, I can't help it, I'm not unhappy, it is just how I look! My eyes are smiling!
I can't stand it when girls say that they only get along with boys and that girls don't really like them. Really?! All girls?! Maybe if you actually bothered to crack a smile when saying hello to girls as opposed to flirting with and hanging off every single guy you meet. I generally manage to get along with both boys and girls just fine!
Dairy products can't stay out of the fridge for longer than half an hour. If the cheese is sweating then I won't be eating it! My four closest friends know this about me and they just laugh when I subtly (or not so subtly) put the milk away if it has been sitting on the bench too long. I also can't drink anything where the milk has started to curdle (or as Priscilla likes to say, coagulate!) I mentally freak out when that little skin starts to form on top of a hot chocolate or flat white in a cafe!
Close talkers! (no need to say more)
After so long working in retail, it infuriates me when the sales assistant doesn't look at me or continues to talk to co workers while putting through my transaction.
I should really stop there before you think I'm nuts (too late they cried)! These are just little pet peeves, I've probably got many more. I'm sure we've all got them (we do, right?!) It is the bigger stuff that should really worry us!
I don't think New York has their 'no tolerance' policy anymore.
I'm still working on mine!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
One thing I tried to do this year was make a pact with myself to try and lose my temper less. My Scottish/Italian heritage has made me quite a fiery little specimen, so to curb my temper takes quite a bit of what I like to call 'giving birth breathing'!
I realise when I'm trying not to get angry, I develop a kind of quivering, almost-laughing element to my voice as a way of suppressing the fact that I really want to raise my voice and snap! I discovered this just recently when I was out and someone I barely know put their mouth on the straw that was in my Red Bull. Now let me explain something, although I'm not a total germaphobe (?), I have a real problem with swapping spit with someone who I haven't, or have no intention of, shall we say. shared any kind of intimate moment with (tactful enough?). To give you a better understanding, like when someone is talking to me and their spit lands on my lip (this happens more often than you would think and usually alcohol is involved) I pretty much am distracted, for the rest of the conversation by that tiny dot of spit trying to penetrate the skin in my lip!
There have been many occasions where Dominique, Priscilla and myself have motioned to each other to cover our drinks to avoid any straying saliva from whoever we are talking to.
Another example is from quite a few years ago. I was out at a casual dinner with a group of people. One of the people was a kind of well known musician (in his day) who, at the time, was on my top 5 list. I ordered the Turkish bread and dips (one of my favourite simple meals) and offered it around the table, the musician took some bread and double dipped it in my dips (no this is not some kind of sexual metaphor, it is literal) he dipped the bread, took a bite and then dipped again. Now even though, (at the time)I thought he was HOT, (remember, top 5!) I still had to pull him up on it. His response: 'we all have the same spit'! AH NO, NO WE DO NOT!!
So back to the straw incident, I quickly detached my red bull from the straw. Then I realised I was causing a little mini commotion so I toned it down and all of a sudden my voice had that quivering, laughing thing going on. Meanwhile, I had lifted my free hand and dug my nails into my friend's arm to try and suppress the anger, I think he still has the nail marks!
So this all got me thinking about other things I am not tolerant of.
I always had a funny thing about strange girl's in bars and clubs accidentally brushing their hair against my bare shoulders or back. I'm not actually sure if this one still bothers me!
I hate it when someone open mouth sneezes so close to me that I can smell it. I have never discussed the sneeze smell with anyone until recently when my friends' 6 year old son brought up the subject. (Is it strange that I'm relating to a six yr old? He is six and a half after all!)
The words 'smile luv, its not that bad' grate on me in a way you wouldn't even believe! The sides of my mouth turn down, I can't help it, I'm not unhappy, it is just how I look! My eyes are smiling!
I can't stand it when girls say that they only get along with boys and that girls don't really like them. Really?! All girls?! Maybe if you actually bothered to crack a smile when saying hello to girls as opposed to flirting with and hanging off every single guy you meet. I generally manage to get along with both boys and girls just fine!
Dairy products can't stay out of the fridge for longer than half an hour. If the cheese is sweating then I won't be eating it! My four closest friends know this about me and they just laugh when I subtly (or not so subtly) put the milk away if it has been sitting on the bench too long. I also can't drink anything where the milk has started to curdle (or as Priscilla likes to say, coagulate!) I mentally freak out when that little skin starts to form on top of a hot chocolate or flat white in a cafe!
Close talkers! (no need to say more)
After so long working in retail, it infuriates me when the sales assistant doesn't look at me or continues to talk to co workers while putting through my transaction.
I should really stop there before you think I'm nuts (too late they cried)! These are just little pet peeves, I've probably got many more. I'm sure we've all got them (we do, right?!) It is the bigger stuff that should really worry us!
I don't think New York has their 'no tolerance' policy anymore.
I'm still working on mine!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
Monday, January 18, 2010
FACE the truth
On Sunday as I was getting ready to go to Mum and Dad's house for our weekly morning tea, it suddenly occurred to me that this was the first time in a week that I had actually put on make up. Although this may not seem that unusual, the people who I hang out with the most would know that it is a very rare occasion for me not to wear make up.
Last week I had a very low key week and I just couldn't be bothered putting on any make up on, not even mascara. I only went to the local shops and to visit my parents, so in my opinion it wasn't necessary. I ran into a few people I knew (funny, in my head I thought no one would recognise me without my mask, not so!). One comment was you look tired, one was you look different and one was you look sun burnt (I wasn't, I have a couple of patches of pigmentation on my face) I wanted to yell like Chewbacca at them but I calmly just muttered 'I'm not wearing any make up'! Oh and p.s.when did it become all right for people who barely know you to point out flaws in your appearance? It is like when someone points out a spot on your face (I don't like the P word) I feel like yelling at them (chewbacca style again) that I already know, I do own a mirror, I AM AWARE!!
This got me thinking about when I first started wearing make up. I mean as a young girl I always used to play dress ups with my best friend and we would raid our Mum's old make up cupboards. In fact I have photos that my sister took for her photography assignment when I was 8 and she had me done up like one of those American child beauty contestants (looked more like a child drag queen) I started wearing a bit of lippy for 'special occasions' when I was 13 but my oldest sister gave me my first lipstick and matching lip liner when I was 14, it was Australis frosted pink and the lip liner matched perfectly! (aah what a colour!)
I was on a (kind of) date with a guy not too long ago and he decided to tell me I wear too much make up because he liked a more natural look (I thought to myself, how would you know when you've never seen me without make up?!) needless to say I didn't really see him much after that(my choice)!
One night I was at dinner with one of my best friends (you'll remember I have two best friends, we'll call them Priscilla and Dominique as these are the names we used to use in our early twenties when we were stuck talking to someone we didn't want to talk to!!) so I was out with Dominique and two of our single male friends. One of the guys was talking about a girl that was 'after' him. When we asked why he wasn't interested he said 'coz she wears too much make up'! Neither of us commented. Later that week we went out with another single male friend and bombarded him with questions. 'Would you be turned off by a girl with too much make up?' 'What is too much make up?' 'Do WE wear too much?'. He explained he likes natural looking skin, so he wasn't talking about lipstick or eye shadow but foundation. He never quite answered the 'do we wear too much?' question....hmmmm!!!
My friends have discussed this and we came up with the conclusion that there are the girls who look natural because they are natural and wear minimal make up and then there are the girls who are wearing natural looking make up (there is a big difference). We also all came up with the conclusion that natural looking make up is a lot harder to achieve than crazy, going out on the town make up! Especially now in a world of primers and highlighters and shimmers (my goodness it sounds like I'm painting a wall!)
But then on other occasions I have been out with the guys and they are all checking out girls who have the make up caked on as if ready for a playboy photo shoot (which I actually love by the way) and when I've pointed this out, they are like 'yeh I guess but she still look hot'! Ah the double standards of men, don't you just love it?!!
I have A LOT of make up, I'm a bit of a make up hoarder. I still have a turquoise eye shadow (that I do occasionally wear)that my sister was throwing out when I was 11! I wear my favourites, and most natural on normal days and then jazz it up for night time. I'm a big fan of eye shadow. I wear gloss more than lipstick (I generally have at least 5 glosses in my bag, don't ask me why!) I only wear one shade of lip liner, although I have at least ten spares of that one lip liner (I live in fear of the words 'that colour has been discontinued').
Very few people see me with no make up. I always remember a couple of years ago I was talking to one of my male friends on the phone. I was having, what I call, a no make up day. While I was on the phone there was a knock on the door and it was the friend that was still on the phone with me and one of our other friends, they were picking me up for a coffee and wouldn't let me put make up on- I wore VERY BIG sunglasses! Some of my girlfriends said they wouldn't have even answered the door! Aren't we amusing creatures?
I don't really know where I was going with this whole make up thing, it just started off with one quick thought but here I am and any boys reading are probably snoring!
And yes I know it seems frivolous and meaningless and I know beauty is on the inside but sometimes its just nice to add a little colour to our black and white picture!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
Last week I had a very low key week and I just couldn't be bothered putting on any make up on, not even mascara. I only went to the local shops and to visit my parents, so in my opinion it wasn't necessary. I ran into a few people I knew (funny, in my head I thought no one would recognise me without my mask, not so!). One comment was you look tired, one was you look different and one was you look sun burnt (I wasn't, I have a couple of patches of pigmentation on my face) I wanted to yell like Chewbacca at them but I calmly just muttered 'I'm not wearing any make up'! Oh and p.s.when did it become all right for people who barely know you to point out flaws in your appearance? It is like when someone points out a spot on your face (I don't like the P word) I feel like yelling at them (chewbacca style again) that I already know, I do own a mirror, I AM AWARE!!
This got me thinking about when I first started wearing make up. I mean as a young girl I always used to play dress ups with my best friend and we would raid our Mum's old make up cupboards. In fact I have photos that my sister took for her photography assignment when I was 8 and she had me done up like one of those American child beauty contestants (looked more like a child drag queen) I started wearing a bit of lippy for 'special occasions' when I was 13 but my oldest sister gave me my first lipstick and matching lip liner when I was 14, it was Australis frosted pink and the lip liner matched perfectly! (aah what a colour!)
I was on a (kind of) date with a guy not too long ago and he decided to tell me I wear too much make up because he liked a more natural look (I thought to myself, how would you know when you've never seen me without make up?!) needless to say I didn't really see him much after that(my choice)!
One night I was at dinner with one of my best friends (you'll remember I have two best friends, we'll call them Priscilla and Dominique as these are the names we used to use in our early twenties when we were stuck talking to someone we didn't want to talk to!!) so I was out with Dominique and two of our single male friends. One of the guys was talking about a girl that was 'after' him. When we asked why he wasn't interested he said 'coz she wears too much make up'! Neither of us commented. Later that week we went out with another single male friend and bombarded him with questions. 'Would you be turned off by a girl with too much make up?' 'What is too much make up?' 'Do WE wear too much?'. He explained he likes natural looking skin, so he wasn't talking about lipstick or eye shadow but foundation. He never quite answered the 'do we wear too much?' question....hmmmm!!!
My friends have discussed this and we came up with the conclusion that there are the girls who look natural because they are natural and wear minimal make up and then there are the girls who are wearing natural looking make up (there is a big difference). We also all came up with the conclusion that natural looking make up is a lot harder to achieve than crazy, going out on the town make up! Especially now in a world of primers and highlighters and shimmers (my goodness it sounds like I'm painting a wall!)
But then on other occasions I have been out with the guys and they are all checking out girls who have the make up caked on as if ready for a playboy photo shoot (which I actually love by the way) and when I've pointed this out, they are like 'yeh I guess but she still look hot'! Ah the double standards of men, don't you just love it?!!
I have A LOT of make up, I'm a bit of a make up hoarder. I still have a turquoise eye shadow (that I do occasionally wear)that my sister was throwing out when I was 11! I wear my favourites, and most natural on normal days and then jazz it up for night time. I'm a big fan of eye shadow. I wear gloss more than lipstick (I generally have at least 5 glosses in my bag, don't ask me why!) I only wear one shade of lip liner, although I have at least ten spares of that one lip liner (I live in fear of the words 'that colour has been discontinued').
Very few people see me with no make up. I always remember a couple of years ago I was talking to one of my male friends on the phone. I was having, what I call, a no make up day. While I was on the phone there was a knock on the door and it was the friend that was still on the phone with me and one of our other friends, they were picking me up for a coffee and wouldn't let me put make up on- I wore VERY BIG sunglasses! Some of my girlfriends said they wouldn't have even answered the door! Aren't we amusing creatures?
I don't really know where I was going with this whole make up thing, it just started off with one quick thought but here I am and any boys reading are probably snoring!
And yes I know it seems frivolous and meaningless and I know beauty is on the inside but sometimes its just nice to add a little colour to our black and white picture!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Weighing up the facts...
Isn't the symbol for Libra the scales? I'm a libran, although I'm not really a big follower of the star signs but maybe that will explain how much I think about weight!! I have to admit I don't actually know very many women who don't think about weight, even if it is just occasionally. Not me though, I think about it A LOT!! One of my best friends and I would text each other at least once a day with some kind of comment about weight or eating.
To start with, I'm not hugely overweight according to health standards (have you ever noticed that doctors healthy weight standards are at least 10kg more than what we would like to be, or is that just me?)but I'm slightly larger than society's standards and definitely a lot heavier than I would like to be.
In high school I couldn't care less about weight. I did sport, about once a fortnight I ate buttered rolls with salt and vinegar chips (great, now I mentioned it I want one! Damn it!), on normal days I ate two ryvitas with vegimite (this wasn't a diet, just all I could be bothered bringing from home). My downfall came when I got my first full time job and started buying my lunch everyday, that was when the weight started to make its way up (and up and up).
Now we all know the correct way to lose and maintain a healthy weight, exercise, everything in moderation, deprive yourself of nothing, don't overindulge, go easy on the sugars and fats blah blah blah! WE ALL KNOW THAT!! But come on, we all want the quick fix! Believe me I've tried a lot. The quickest most successful for me was the no carbs phase!I actually heard about it years before it worked for me but when I first tried it I really had no idea. I thought it was just no bread, rice and pasta. I was still eating lollies and doing things like ordering ice cream in a cup, not a cone! Ummm hellooo Bimbo alert!!! When I actually educated myself I dropped about 8kg on no carbs and pretty much put it all back on the second a crumb of bread touched my lips!!
When I was 22 I started this weird eating plan of an orange for breakfast, frozen coke for lunch and steak, salad and two white dinner rolls for dinner plus I was walking everyday. Insane!! I lost 11kgs but I certainly don't recommend it, I have however always kept that weight off. Up until the last two years of course. Over the last two years I have formed a pattern of putting it on then losing it, then putting it on again plus 2kg etc.
I don't judge other people's weight, only my own, I do, however always notice women who, in my opinion, have great bodies. A great body to me doesn't necessarily mean stick thin with what my friends and I call 'baby deer legs'.
Take Marilyn Monroe, she was not a small woman, she had curves and looked fantastic, she was voluptuous (or volumptuous as some people tend to say, for reasons unbeknown to me). Look at Beyonce and Kim Kardashian, they have both got 'bootie' and look fantastic. Of course their bootie doesn't move. Mine moves! That is why I wear jeans so often, they keep everything in check! I always find it amusing that when I'm standing in queues in front of little kids they seem to feel the need to touch my butt, one little boy kept sticking his finger into the fleshiest part of my butt as if he thought it was a big ole cushion. Cute? Yes, but also a little embarrassing!
The other day I put my bathers on, when I put the bottoms on, they were so small I actually thought I had them on back to front! Yikes! Needless to say I've been cutting down on the eating and exercising more everyday since then!
I know weight shouldn't be such a big issue but it is! Even men think/talk about it. I hang out with guys a fair bit so I hear their comments. One guy was telling me the other day that when he was out recently two women came and sat next to him. One started talking to him, he said she was really pretty but when she stood up he saw she was bigger in the bottom half than she appeared to be when she was sitting down so he didn't bother talking to her anymore! I didn't comment when he told me but I was horrified! Seriously, what chance do women have?!
I do have a confession to make....I LOVE FOOD! Especially savoury food. When I'm feeling down, I eat, but even worse, when I'm bored I eat. Weeknights are the worst! Sometimes at night I'll just go for a drive to prevent myself from eating. I get comfort in the fact that even women as powerful as Oprah struggle with their eating.
Right now I'm at a no more excuses stage which is great, but lets face it, I have been their many, many times before so I'll just have to take it day by day!
So...off to Hungry Jacks to get some dinner then....I'M KIDDING!!!!!!!
Until next time (I'll be less serious next time),
the last single 34yr old woman xx
To start with, I'm not hugely overweight according to health standards (have you ever noticed that doctors healthy weight standards are at least 10kg more than what we would like to be, or is that just me?)but I'm slightly larger than society's standards and definitely a lot heavier than I would like to be.
In high school I couldn't care less about weight. I did sport, about once a fortnight I ate buttered rolls with salt and vinegar chips (great, now I mentioned it I want one! Damn it!), on normal days I ate two ryvitas with vegimite (this wasn't a diet, just all I could be bothered bringing from home). My downfall came when I got my first full time job and started buying my lunch everyday, that was when the weight started to make its way up (and up and up).
Now we all know the correct way to lose and maintain a healthy weight, exercise, everything in moderation, deprive yourself of nothing, don't overindulge, go easy on the sugars and fats blah blah blah! WE ALL KNOW THAT!! But come on, we all want the quick fix! Believe me I've tried a lot. The quickest most successful for me was the no carbs phase!I actually heard about it years before it worked for me but when I first tried it I really had no idea. I thought it was just no bread, rice and pasta. I was still eating lollies and doing things like ordering ice cream in a cup, not a cone! Ummm hellooo Bimbo alert!!! When I actually educated myself I dropped about 8kg on no carbs and pretty much put it all back on the second a crumb of bread touched my lips!!
When I was 22 I started this weird eating plan of an orange for breakfast, frozen coke for lunch and steak, salad and two white dinner rolls for dinner plus I was walking everyday. Insane!! I lost 11kgs but I certainly don't recommend it, I have however always kept that weight off. Up until the last two years of course. Over the last two years I have formed a pattern of putting it on then losing it, then putting it on again plus 2kg etc.
I don't judge other people's weight, only my own, I do, however always notice women who, in my opinion, have great bodies. A great body to me doesn't necessarily mean stick thin with what my friends and I call 'baby deer legs'.
Take Marilyn Monroe, she was not a small woman, she had curves and looked fantastic, she was voluptuous (or volumptuous as some people tend to say, for reasons unbeknown to me). Look at Beyonce and Kim Kardashian, they have both got 'bootie' and look fantastic. Of course their bootie doesn't move. Mine moves! That is why I wear jeans so often, they keep everything in check! I always find it amusing that when I'm standing in queues in front of little kids they seem to feel the need to touch my butt, one little boy kept sticking his finger into the fleshiest part of my butt as if he thought it was a big ole cushion. Cute? Yes, but also a little embarrassing!
The other day I put my bathers on, when I put the bottoms on, they were so small I actually thought I had them on back to front! Yikes! Needless to say I've been cutting down on the eating and exercising more everyday since then!
I know weight shouldn't be such a big issue but it is! Even men think/talk about it. I hang out with guys a fair bit so I hear their comments. One guy was telling me the other day that when he was out recently two women came and sat next to him. One started talking to him, he said she was really pretty but when she stood up he saw she was bigger in the bottom half than she appeared to be when she was sitting down so he didn't bother talking to her anymore! I didn't comment when he told me but I was horrified! Seriously, what chance do women have?!
I do have a confession to make....I LOVE FOOD! Especially savoury food. When I'm feeling down, I eat, but even worse, when I'm bored I eat. Weeknights are the worst! Sometimes at night I'll just go for a drive to prevent myself from eating. I get comfort in the fact that even women as powerful as Oprah struggle with their eating.
Right now I'm at a no more excuses stage which is great, but lets face it, I have been their many, many times before so I'll just have to take it day by day!
So...off to Hungry Jacks to get some dinner then....I'M KIDDING!!!!!!!
Until next time (I'll be less serious next time),
the last single 34yr old woman xx
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Introducing Me.....
A friend once told me, actually no, let me rephrase that, one friend told me MANY times that I think too much! I do! I can't deny it (although my thought patterns have definitely changed over the years). So I thought, what the hell, why not write my thoughts down. I used to write them down all the time as part of a warm up for the novel I've been attempting to write for years (many, many years!) so I figure this is just the same but a slightly different (slightly more public) forum! I always used to find it theraputic and motivating, so hopefully, this will have the same affect. I have no idea what theme my blog will take or where it will take me (or where I will take it) but lets give it a go shall we?!
So....introducing me.....
- I obviously love exclamation marks and brackets!!
- I love that for the first time in 17 years I'm not tied down to a full time job!
- I hate that my money is running out and I may have to put my new business on the sidelines and take a fulltime job.
- I love that my parents have been married for nearly 51 years and are still so in love.
- I hate that I've chosen my mid thirties to do my real soul searching.
- I love that I come from a big family and have watched my nieces and nephews grow into the beautiful people that they are.
- I hate that I'm watching my nieces now enjoy their early twenties which was the most fun time of my life. (yes, I'm a little jealous)
- I love that I have two amazing best friends, one who has been in my life for 30 years and one who has been in my life for 18 years.
- I hate that some people in our lives drift in and out when we aren't ready for them to do either.
- I love that my shortest close friendships are over 12 years. To me, friendship is everything!
- I hate that I always know when people are lying to me, I'd prefer to be ignorant about it.
- I love that I can generally read people very well straight away.
- I hate that I can generally read people very well straight away!
- I love to laugh.
- I hate that I've lost my ability to be excited and dream about the future.
- I love to dance! I mean really love it!
- I hate that I've put on 8kg since this time last year!
- I love, well actually like, that I'm on track with weight loss, eating and exercise finally (well this week anyway!).
- I hate that I come across as hard and unaffectionate (is that a word?) to the people I hold dear to me.
- I love that I come across as strong sometimes to people who don't know me.
- I hate that I'm, what feels like, the last single 34yr old woman!!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman xx
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