Last week was my Mum's 70th Birthday. 70! SEVENTY!! I can't even imagine that my Mum is 70! As I ran around taking photos of Mum with her husband, with her children and grand children, with her remaining brothers and with her nieces and nephews I was thinking to myself that she really must have been doing some serious re capping of her own life. I thought about how she must think back and look at all she created (and looking at all of my gorgeous nieces and nephews, she has passed on some seriously good genes)in amazement. In fact, both of my parents must do that. It then got me thinking about age.
Mum always told me that she was so upset when she turned 30, that she actually mourned leaving her 20s. 30 never bothered me but surprisingly, I was upset about turning 31, go figure!
When I was 13 I remember thinking one of my sisters was so old for turning 24. That was absolutely ancient to me, this year one of my nieces is turning 24 which makes me feel ancient!
Actually, I don't feel 34 (whatever 34 is supposed to feel like)and my friend's ages vary so much that in my mind we are all just the same age. Plus, I think all of my friends look FABULOUS for their age.
I love all the creams, lotions and potions that are designed to make us look younger. (Let me tell you, late at night, that Cindy Crawford one looks amazing! But only because Cindy Crawford looks amazing. It is funny that when I'm watching those ads when I'm really tired, I get so tempted to buy those things!)
I saw an advertisement today for something that fills in the lines on your face temporarily! It actually goes onto your wrinkles and fills them so your makeup goes onto a completely smooth surface, sort of like poly filler for your face! Seriously, is this what we are doing now?! All of that stuff is just too much fuss for me (except for a simple moisturiser) I personally think that laughing keeps you young. If you laugh lots and enjoy life, the youthfulness you feel just shines out of you.
Every time two of my good friends (a married couple) see my mum she always has to tell me how young they look. I KNOW THEY DO!!!The wife has skin that makes her look at least ten years younger than her age, I know she eats healthy most of the time and doesn't wear too much make up and has a good moisturising routine and she has definitely been rewarded for it. The husband, on the other hand, has a very strict diet of coffee (lots of it), scotch and cigarettes (although he does eat reasonably healthy) and he too manages to look A LOT younger than his age.
So maybe looking good for your age is a combination of good genetics and a good state of mind!
I went out with friends the other night and we went to a couple of different bars. One was full of young 'posers'! They were dancing, but not really dancing if you know what I mean. Everyone there was younger than we were, which doesn't bother me at all. The posing part did bother me though. No one looked like they were enjoying themselves, they were putting so much effort into posing and pouting that it just seemed so tedious to me.
The next bar we went to was an older crowd, generally they were older than me although there was quite a few 'cougar' couples there. I'm not loving the term 'Cougar' but I know everyone knows what I mean when I say it.
The next bar (calling it a bar probably makes it sound a bit classier than it is) was full of a real mixture of ages. I would say the range was 17 to about 42. That is always such an interesting age range to watch. The older guys are checking out the 17 year olds, the older females (when I say older I mean my age and above!) are checking out the younger guys. All the girls are checking out the boys in the band (age rules are null and void if you are in a band!) And then there are the REALLY drunk people who are hooking up with absolutely anyone and age doesn't even factor into that equation(the term 'beer goggles' comes to mind!)!
Age really is just a number. With age comes experience and knowledge. Two of the things I love about getting older is all the stuff I continually learn about myself and what i continue to learn about life in general. I think the day we stop allowing ourselves to learn is the day we start to lose our passion for life. Two things I hate about getting older are when you do notice that extra line appearing around your eyes or when someone actually guesses your age correctly!
So my advice (for what it is worth) is continue to learn, enjoy life (of course there will be bad days), dance lots and don't forget to laugh!!
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman xx
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Trend or style?
Ah, one of my favourite times of the year! The turn of the fashion season! I love it! About two weeks ago, all of the new season fashion stock started arriving in stores and I love exploring and checking out all the new trends.
Eighties are back...AGAIN!! It always fascinates me that one of the least stylish decades keeps coming back to haunt us.
This inspired to check out old photo albums. I was a child through most of the 80s but I still was very fashion forward. I think I put coloured diamontes an every denim item that I owned. I had a fabulous denim pencil skirt with matching crop jacket (shoulder pads to die for!). I am proud to say I NEVER OWNED ANYTHING STONE WASH!!! The eighties was the decade of fluoro colours, plastic coloured earrings, frosted lipstick, elastic belts (the wider the better), Ra Ra skirts, Balloon skirts, rolled up jeans, lots of lace, embellishments galore and tees with your favourite singers or bands on them. I'm sure you can think of many more but these are the things that I was reminded of when taking a walk down 'amnesia lane'!! Oh, oh I just thought of another one! Do you remember those jackets that everyone was bringing back from Bali and they also turned inside out into a bag? Mine was hot pink!!!
So back to this season's eighties trend, obviously the teen shops are doing the fluoros and lace etc but I noticed that the contemporary labels are doing some serious eighties as well. I've seen a lot of military style jackets with shoulder pads and some serious, over the top embellishments. I've seen a lot of tops with shoulder pads and beads, chains and sequins hanging off all over the place. I have noticed stilettos with lots of 'dog collar' studs and silver trims. I think the key thing for people to remember is not to go too crazy with the trend pieces. These pieces will barely be fashionable for the whole season and then you will be left with a new collection in your wardrobe to add to your original eighties collection. Adding your own embellishments to existing tops will help create an original piece for the new season and will also mean you can remove the embellishment at the end of the season. If you want to spend big money on clothes buy yourself some good basics, a fabulous pair of jeans, sensational black stilettos and neutral stilettos, a couple of plain singlet tops for layering, and a good boyfriend blazer or light trench coat for when the weather starts to cool a little, and of course a simple black dress. Anything over and above these pieces are trend pieces that you don't need to spend a lot of money on. I always buy cheap things that I get comments on, it is just all in the way you wear them.
My motto is 'you should wear the clothes, don't let the clothes wear you'!
I'm happy that leather and leather look is coming back, especially for the winter (I'm still a rock chick at heart) and I love all the faux furs that are coming through.
Can you tell I have a passion for fashion?!
I have very distinct loves and hates though:
*LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!!! I don't care if you have legs like Miranda Kerr, they are still not pants! I don't care if they have denim jean detailing on them, they are still not pants!!!
*Wheels and Dollbaby seems to never go out of fashion. I love the experience of walking into a Wheels and Dollbaby store and the fashion items are sensational. Sexy 50s chic is the best way I can think of to describe their clothes, a style that seems to work year after year. (of course I only ever buy their singlets but one day I will treat myself)
*No stockings with open toe shoes. This is a definite. Of course their are exceptions like the opaque tights with the chunky 50s style peep toe, but be very sure before you attempt this!!
*Follow the famous Coco Chanel rule about removing one accessory before you walk out the door. The days of wearing big matching necklaces, earrings and bracelets are long gone!
**As a little sideline, have you noticed the trend of the 'Ravers'? (I actually had to ask someone to find out what they are called) These are the kids who wear the big flared pants that either have fur or reflector strip down the side and around the bottom of the leg. They also wear dozens of bright children's beaded bracelets up their arms. Very often they are wearing cats ears on there heads and have very heavy black eyeliner. I see them in the city in huge groups. In fact one day I thought I was in for a real treat when they all gathered to dance, but alas, dancing is not their strong point. Although they are not high fashion, they are a trend that does fascinate me!**
So, this week I've started throwing out the 'never to be worn again' stuff to make room for any new season clothing pieces I may buy. I have also been blessed with a mum that is a fantastic dressmaker so I can always draw things that I want and she will make them exactly as I want them. I always like to have a couple of different pieces in my wardrobe that are slightly different from what everyone else has. Eventually I'll go through my shoes, but that is my biggest challenge! I'm a shoe girl (who isn't?) and I can't bring myself to throw out any of my shoes (I'm sure if I wait long enough my cowboy/biker boots from the early 90s will come back in fashion right?!!!!). My relationship with my shoes is very deep, a hot pair of shoes can add colour into my life straight away if I happen to be feeling a bit black and white!!
So go forth and shop and follow some trends (but don't go overboard) but mostly, be YOU! If you aren't comfortable in what you are wearing don't wear it because you won't feel like yourself. If you love your legs, show them off, if you love your breasts show them off. Show off your best assets. If you love your outfit and feel totally comfortable you will glow!! And as for those ladies (and some men) who like to put others down for the way they look and dress...Go check youselves at the door coz I wont be hanging with you!!!
Well, I'm off to check out some shops now...
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman xx
Eighties are back...AGAIN!! It always fascinates me that one of the least stylish decades keeps coming back to haunt us.
This inspired to check out old photo albums. I was a child through most of the 80s but I still was very fashion forward. I think I put coloured diamontes an every denim item that I owned. I had a fabulous denim pencil skirt with matching crop jacket (shoulder pads to die for!). I am proud to say I NEVER OWNED ANYTHING STONE WASH!!! The eighties was the decade of fluoro colours, plastic coloured earrings, frosted lipstick, elastic belts (the wider the better), Ra Ra skirts, Balloon skirts, rolled up jeans, lots of lace, embellishments galore and tees with your favourite singers or bands on them. I'm sure you can think of many more but these are the things that I was reminded of when taking a walk down 'amnesia lane'!! Oh, oh I just thought of another one! Do you remember those jackets that everyone was bringing back from Bali and they also turned inside out into a bag? Mine was hot pink!!!
So back to this season's eighties trend, obviously the teen shops are doing the fluoros and lace etc but I noticed that the contemporary labels are doing some serious eighties as well. I've seen a lot of military style jackets with shoulder pads and some serious, over the top embellishments. I've seen a lot of tops with shoulder pads and beads, chains and sequins hanging off all over the place. I have noticed stilettos with lots of 'dog collar' studs and silver trims. I think the key thing for people to remember is not to go too crazy with the trend pieces. These pieces will barely be fashionable for the whole season and then you will be left with a new collection in your wardrobe to add to your original eighties collection. Adding your own embellishments to existing tops will help create an original piece for the new season and will also mean you can remove the embellishment at the end of the season. If you want to spend big money on clothes buy yourself some good basics, a fabulous pair of jeans, sensational black stilettos and neutral stilettos, a couple of plain singlet tops for layering, and a good boyfriend blazer or light trench coat for when the weather starts to cool a little, and of course a simple black dress. Anything over and above these pieces are trend pieces that you don't need to spend a lot of money on. I always buy cheap things that I get comments on, it is just all in the way you wear them.
My motto is 'you should wear the clothes, don't let the clothes wear you'!
I'm happy that leather and leather look is coming back, especially for the winter (I'm still a rock chick at heart) and I love all the faux furs that are coming through.
Can you tell I have a passion for fashion?!
I have very distinct loves and hates though:
*LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!!! I don't care if you have legs like Miranda Kerr, they are still not pants! I don't care if they have denim jean detailing on them, they are still not pants!!!
*Wheels and Dollbaby seems to never go out of fashion. I love the experience of walking into a Wheels and Dollbaby store and the fashion items are sensational. Sexy 50s chic is the best way I can think of to describe their clothes, a style that seems to work year after year. (of course I only ever buy their singlets but one day I will treat myself)
*No stockings with open toe shoes. This is a definite. Of course their are exceptions like the opaque tights with the chunky 50s style peep toe, but be very sure before you attempt this!!
*Follow the famous Coco Chanel rule about removing one accessory before you walk out the door. The days of wearing big matching necklaces, earrings and bracelets are long gone!
**As a little sideline, have you noticed the trend of the 'Ravers'? (I actually had to ask someone to find out what they are called) These are the kids who wear the big flared pants that either have fur or reflector strip down the side and around the bottom of the leg. They also wear dozens of bright children's beaded bracelets up their arms. Very often they are wearing cats ears on there heads and have very heavy black eyeliner. I see them in the city in huge groups. In fact one day I thought I was in for a real treat when they all gathered to dance, but alas, dancing is not their strong point. Although they are not high fashion, they are a trend that does fascinate me!**
So, this week I've started throwing out the 'never to be worn again' stuff to make room for any new season clothing pieces I may buy. I have also been blessed with a mum that is a fantastic dressmaker so I can always draw things that I want and she will make them exactly as I want them. I always like to have a couple of different pieces in my wardrobe that are slightly different from what everyone else has. Eventually I'll go through my shoes, but that is my biggest challenge! I'm a shoe girl (who isn't?) and I can't bring myself to throw out any of my shoes (I'm sure if I wait long enough my cowboy/biker boots from the early 90s will come back in fashion right?!!!!). My relationship with my shoes is very deep, a hot pair of shoes can add colour into my life straight away if I happen to be feeling a bit black and white!!
So go forth and shop and follow some trends (but don't go overboard) but mostly, be YOU! If you aren't comfortable in what you are wearing don't wear it because you won't feel like yourself. If you love your legs, show them off, if you love your breasts show them off. Show off your best assets. If you love your outfit and feel totally comfortable you will glow!! And as for those ladies (and some men) who like to put others down for the way they look and dress...Go check youselves at the door coz I wont be hanging with you!!!
Well, I'm off to check out some shops now...
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman xx
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Lookalikes.
My mum never had my hair cut from when I was born to when I was in year three! My hair was literally to my knees! When I look at photos from back then, my hair was beautiful, long and wavy, light brown with natural blonde highlights (the exact colour I want now!)Now, I was obsessed with Olivia Newton-John for most of my childhood, so when she cut her hair short, I suddenly wanted mine short. Mum finally gave in, took my final long hair photos, and off we went into the city to get my new Olivia hair do!
When It was done, I looked like I was thirty (I was 8!)! And much to my disgust, I didn't look anything like Olivia!!!
For those of you who are on facebook you will know that one of the applications put forward an exercise that everyone change their profile photo to one of someone famous that they have been told they look like. (I think there was more to it than that but by the time it did the facebook rounds that is how it was presented to me.)
I always find it amusing when people compare you to someone famous and I find that we usually have a different opinion about ourselves from those around us!
I love that one of my friends thinks I look like Sophia Loren (oh bless!). He has said this since he met me when I was 17 and he tries to convince everyone that I look like her. F.y.i, I DON'T LOOK A THING LIKE SOPHIA LOREN but I take it as a compliment and if that is how he sees me then I say, let him! It could be worse!
As a young teenager I was always told I looked like Mallory (Justine Bateman) from Family Ties. I can actually see the similarity with that one. At a Melbourne Cup function a couple of years ago I met a Perth breakfast radio host. He kept saying to me 'you look like someone famous but I can't think who it is!' I suggested Mallory and he absolutely agreed, so for the rest of the day every time I walked past him he would yell out the name Mallory at me.
It really amuses me when guys use 'Do you know who you look like?' as a pick up line. There are two occasions where this happened to me that particularly stick in my mind...
One time I was talking to a guy in a bar and he said 'You look so much like Linda Blair. Do you know who that is?'
My response (with absolutely no expression in my voice): 'Linda Blair? From 'The Exorcist'?!!!!' (All I could think of was how attractive the projectile vomiting scene was!)
He looked horrified! 'No, no Linda Blair from Wonder Woman!'
Linda Carter, HE MEANT LINDA CARTER!!!! BIG DIFFERENCE!!!!! Now Linda Carter I can deal with! In fact my oldest sister looked exactly like Linda Carter when she was younger, I was so proud to have a sister that looked like Wonder Woman.
The second instance that sticks in my mind was when I was talking to a group of people at a pub and this one guy kept saying to me that I looked like someone famous but he couldn't think who it was (blah blah blah). He must have said this to me at least ten times! Finally he clicked his fingers and said 'I know who it is! That actor in The Graduate.'
I said I had no idea who it was, I could only think of what she looked like and I knew I looked nothing like her!
He then said 'it was Ann Bancroft!'
Ok so this guy wasn't saying I looked like the daughter, he was actually saying I looked like Mrs Robinson. MRS ROBINSON!!!! Wasn't she meant to be over 50 in that movie?!!!
*One time when I was in Italy, I was sitting with my Aunty watching television. Gregory Peck came on the T.V. My Aunty (Dad's sister) said that my Dad looked like Gregory Peck! She obviously sees her older brother a little differently from how I see my Dad! I just looked at her thinking maybe something got lost in translation! My Dad looks like Tony Bennett, it is uncanny how much he looks like Tony Bennett, especially when he wears his glasses but I suppose if his sister wants to think he looks like Gregory Peck, she can! (For the record, I think Gregory Peck was gorgeous in his day.)*
I've been told I look like so many different people from a chubbier Danni Minogue to Norma Jean to Aishwarya Rai to Natalie Woods, I even got Anjelina Jolie once (believe me, I took that one and ran with it!!). I think I look like my Dad and possibly his sisters (although I have only met them a couple of times). There are a couple of similarities between myself and one of my sisters but I think the five of us kids actually look pretty different, although I have had people I don't even know be able to pick me as a member of my family straight away. I think mannerisms have a lot to do with how people see you. On lots of different occasions I've had people ask if my best friends are my sisters. I look nothing like them but after so many years we definitely would have picked up some similar mannerisms to make us seem alike.
I don't want to look like anyone else (although I wouldn't mind Christie Turlington's lips and Jennifer Hawkin's body) I just want to look like me. Of course there are many things I'd like to change about my appearance, but who doesn't have those things? I don't think I'd ever have plastic surgery done to change my face (when I was younger I wanted a nose job, now I couldn't care less). I find myself staring a lot when I see people who have had lots of facial plastic surgery because after a lot of it, they can start to look so... well...so plastic!
I find that if someone says you look like a famous person, it is rarely an insult, so even if you disagree, take it and run with it. I think the lookalike game is a fun game to play.
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
xx
When It was done, I looked like I was thirty (I was 8!)! And much to my disgust, I didn't look anything like Olivia!!!
For those of you who are on facebook you will know that one of the applications put forward an exercise that everyone change their profile photo to one of someone famous that they have been told they look like. (I think there was more to it than that but by the time it did the facebook rounds that is how it was presented to me.)
I always find it amusing when people compare you to someone famous and I find that we usually have a different opinion about ourselves from those around us!
I love that one of my friends thinks I look like Sophia Loren (oh bless!). He has said this since he met me when I was 17 and he tries to convince everyone that I look like her. F.y.i, I DON'T LOOK A THING LIKE SOPHIA LOREN but I take it as a compliment and if that is how he sees me then I say, let him! It could be worse!
As a young teenager I was always told I looked like Mallory (Justine Bateman) from Family Ties. I can actually see the similarity with that one. At a Melbourne Cup function a couple of years ago I met a Perth breakfast radio host. He kept saying to me 'you look like someone famous but I can't think who it is!' I suggested Mallory and he absolutely agreed, so for the rest of the day every time I walked past him he would yell out the name Mallory at me.
It really amuses me when guys use 'Do you know who you look like?' as a pick up line. There are two occasions where this happened to me that particularly stick in my mind...
One time I was talking to a guy in a bar and he said 'You look so much like Linda Blair. Do you know who that is?'
My response (with absolutely no expression in my voice): 'Linda Blair? From 'The Exorcist'?!!!!' (All I could think of was how attractive the projectile vomiting scene was!)
He looked horrified! 'No, no Linda Blair from Wonder Woman!'
Linda Carter, HE MEANT LINDA CARTER!!!! BIG DIFFERENCE!!!!! Now Linda Carter I can deal with! In fact my oldest sister looked exactly like Linda Carter when she was younger, I was so proud to have a sister that looked like Wonder Woman.
The second instance that sticks in my mind was when I was talking to a group of people at a pub and this one guy kept saying to me that I looked like someone famous but he couldn't think who it was (blah blah blah). He must have said this to me at least ten times! Finally he clicked his fingers and said 'I know who it is! That actor in The Graduate.'
I said I had no idea who it was, I could only think of what she looked like and I knew I looked nothing like her!
He then said 'it was Ann Bancroft!'
Ok so this guy wasn't saying I looked like the daughter, he was actually saying I looked like Mrs Robinson. MRS ROBINSON!!!! Wasn't she meant to be over 50 in that movie?!!!
*One time when I was in Italy, I was sitting with my Aunty watching television. Gregory Peck came on the T.V. My Aunty (Dad's sister) said that my Dad looked like Gregory Peck! She obviously sees her older brother a little differently from how I see my Dad! I just looked at her thinking maybe something got lost in translation! My Dad looks like Tony Bennett, it is uncanny how much he looks like Tony Bennett, especially when he wears his glasses but I suppose if his sister wants to think he looks like Gregory Peck, she can! (For the record, I think Gregory Peck was gorgeous in his day.)*
I've been told I look like so many different people from a chubbier Danni Minogue to Norma Jean to Aishwarya Rai to Natalie Woods, I even got Anjelina Jolie once (believe me, I took that one and ran with it!!). I think I look like my Dad and possibly his sisters (although I have only met them a couple of times). There are a couple of similarities between myself and one of my sisters but I think the five of us kids actually look pretty different, although I have had people I don't even know be able to pick me as a member of my family straight away. I think mannerisms have a lot to do with how people see you. On lots of different occasions I've had people ask if my best friends are my sisters. I look nothing like them but after so many years we definitely would have picked up some similar mannerisms to make us seem alike.
I don't want to look like anyone else (although I wouldn't mind Christie Turlington's lips and Jennifer Hawkin's body) I just want to look like me. Of course there are many things I'd like to change about my appearance, but who doesn't have those things? I don't think I'd ever have plastic surgery done to change my face (when I was younger I wanted a nose job, now I couldn't care less). I find myself staring a lot when I see people who have had lots of facial plastic surgery because after a lot of it, they can start to look so... well...so plastic!
I find that if someone says you look like a famous person, it is rarely an insult, so even if you disagree, take it and run with it. I think the lookalike game is a fun game to play.
Until next time,
the last single 34yr old woman
xx
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Got a man yet?!
**Marilyn Monroe used to keep a diary but apparently, she only ever wrote the good things in it because she didn't want anyone to know the real her- and look how well things turned out for her, maybe if she had been more honest things would have turned out a little differently!! For me the point of this blog is all about honesty because, like I've said before,I started it in an attempt to get my writing mojo back. (it is also NOT an attempt to pick up guys!)I'm slowly getting into the writing again! If I only wrote about the good stuff it wouldn't be honest and it wouldn't be me!**
Now, I don't know if anyone else experiences this but sometimes in certain situations, in my head, my life is like a situation comedy! Sometimes when people say things to me, although I'm not actually saying anything out loud or showing any facial expression, the little me inside my head is saying everything I wish I could say. I know there is a smile I do when someone says something to me that I have no response for. (my friends can recognise this smile All TOO WELL!)
I had one of these moments this week with the guy who does my nails. We were talking about how my bf had had her baby and he said to me, 'So when are you going to have a baby?'. To which I replied (while laughing my nervous, uncomfortable laugh) "oh who knows?' And he says, 'well you better hurry up because time is running out'! MY NAIL GUY!! TELLING ME THAT MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT. The voice in my head was going nuts! For the record, the me in my head seems to yell...A LOT!!!!!
Time is running out! This is a sentence that we single girls love to hear! Nothing like putting the pressure on!
The baby thing doesn't come up half as often as the being single thing though. I used to tell my best friend I was going to write a book called 'Got a man yet?' because I went through a stage where that was all that people asked me. I mean seriously, I would see people from school or people I used to hang out with and the first question they would ask me was 'So, you got a man yet?' It always amazed me that this question came before 'So, what have you been doing with yourself?'
I remember not long after I got back from living in England I was managing a ladies fashion store and I ran into girl I went to school with. When I told her about my job and my trip she actually said to me 'What, no man?'! She was engaged at the time. We were both 23!! TWENTY THREE!!! (she is however, divorced now!)
It always amazes me that no matter what you do in your life you will always end up being judged on whether or not you have a partner in your life!
To be honest the 'Got a man yet?' question isn't even the one that stumps me the most. The question that really leaves me at a total loss for words is 'why are you still single?'. I hate that question soooo much! People say it to my face or they ask my friends why I'm still single and my friends relay it back to me. Now, I know my friends tell me because they see it as a compliment, because it is said meaning 'I don't understand why she is still single' but it is a question I can't answer in a nice polite way so I generally just change the subject. People don't want my answer. My answer is 'I don't know, why do YOU think I'm still single?' But I can't actually ask that because it would obviously just make people feel uncomfortable. Or on the few occasions I have asked it I just get cop out answers like 'you are obviously too fussy' or 'you obviously don't want one'! These answers make me want to scream because I want constructive things like 'you need to smile more', 'you need to listen more', 'change the way you dress', 'don't act quite so blokey', 'don't be so obtrusive', 'lose weight' or 'be softer'. Whatever it is, JUST TELL ME! There has to be reason, there is always a reason for things.
Have you ever seen the show 'Get Smart'? I never liked the show but I always remember the closing credits to that show when Maxwell Smart is walking through the corridor with the huge heavy doors slamming closed behind him . Well that is pretty much what happens to me if I'm talking to a guy that interests me! All those doors slam closed around me blocking any part of the real me! So it isn't that I don't want a permanent guy in my life, I just don't know which me to be in order to get one! I am a terrible flirt so I pretty much gave up attempting to flirt when I was 17, it just felt too fake for me. Sometimes I wish I had one of those little ear pieces in my ear with my two BFs on a radio telling me what to say when I'm talking to new guys (ones that aren't my friends I mean.)because when we were younger they were always the masters of the flirt! Although, the flaw in that, of course is that I wouldn't be being myself!
I remember there was this guy I was 'hanging out' with and I decided to consult my BFs about how I should be acting. (Just as a little side note, one of the BFs literally nearly fell off her chair in Gold Class cinemas purely out of excitement that I was talking like this about any guy!!) I would come to one of them and say things like 'but he got angry when a random guy was just asking me if I was having a good night' and she would say 'oh but that is nice, it just means he cares'! So I would go away thinking, Okay, I must be looking at this the wrong way! I actually used to ask them what to say and how to act but eventually I realised I just wasn't being myself (and that I actually thought he was an idiot), which to me, defeats the purpose of spending time with someone.
Not long ago I went on a blind date/coffee with a guy and it was torture!!! I was asking all these questions(because everyone always says you should listen to what the guy has to say) and all I was getting were one word responses. It also didn't help that about 9 different people I know were having coffee in that same cafe, all watching, curious to see who I was with. This was when it occurred to me that in your thirties, when people are trying to set two single people up, the only prerequisite is that they are both single and breathing! The set up very rarely has anything to do with interests and personality. Although, in saying that, one of my friends said not that long ago that he met the perfect guy for me, that his personality was so much like mine, the only problem was that he was married!!! (That's great, yeh thanks for that!!)
So tonight I had a look at one of those Internet dating sites, it was more out of curiosity than anything else. (For the record, I don't think there is anything wrong with people using these sites, I've just never done it myself.)
I found the questions on the application form very interesting. The questions were all answered on a one to ten basis and they were questions like 'how attractive are you?', 'Do you like helping those in need?', 'Are you a good listener?'. I mean come on! Are people really answering these questions completely honestly? There was a whole section on how your friends would describe you. I know how I'd like my friends to describe me but I'm sure how they actually describe me is a totally different thing!!
Now as I get older I find a lot of my good friends are unable to go out with me as much because of other commitments (understandable). When I do actually go out with them I'm generally enjoying myself so much with them that I don't have time to be meeting men. Plus times are different now. When the girls get time away from husbands, boyfriends and kids we just want to do dinners and quiet drinks so we can catch up properly (which I totally love). When the boys get time away from wives, girlfriends and kids they just want to have boys nights as a total break. So the opportunities to go out and meet guys have become less and less. Of course you go out with new people but nothing ever beats the you that you can be when you are around the friends you love and are most comfortable with. So as a result, as a single, you kind of get left in limbo a bit.
I don't want to give the wrong impression, it is not like I think about this stuff all the time, it is just when people like to remind me how my time is running out it obviously plays on my mind a bit! I mean apparently time is running out so fast for me, I barely had enough time to finish this blog!!!
Until next time,
the last single 34 yr old woman....i like long walks on the beach and....RELAX I"m joking, I"M JOKING!!!
xx
Now, I don't know if anyone else experiences this but sometimes in certain situations, in my head, my life is like a situation comedy! Sometimes when people say things to me, although I'm not actually saying anything out loud or showing any facial expression, the little me inside my head is saying everything I wish I could say. I know there is a smile I do when someone says something to me that I have no response for. (my friends can recognise this smile All TOO WELL!)
I had one of these moments this week with the guy who does my nails. We were talking about how my bf had had her baby and he said to me, 'So when are you going to have a baby?'. To which I replied (while laughing my nervous, uncomfortable laugh) "oh who knows?' And he says, 'well you better hurry up because time is running out'! MY NAIL GUY!! TELLING ME THAT MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT. The voice in my head was going nuts! For the record, the me in my head seems to yell...A LOT!!!!!
Time is running out! This is a sentence that we single girls love to hear! Nothing like putting the pressure on!
The baby thing doesn't come up half as often as the being single thing though. I used to tell my best friend I was going to write a book called 'Got a man yet?' because I went through a stage where that was all that people asked me. I mean seriously, I would see people from school or people I used to hang out with and the first question they would ask me was 'So, you got a man yet?' It always amazed me that this question came before 'So, what have you been doing with yourself?'
I remember not long after I got back from living in England I was managing a ladies fashion store and I ran into girl I went to school with. When I told her about my job and my trip she actually said to me 'What, no man?'! She was engaged at the time. We were both 23!! TWENTY THREE!!! (she is however, divorced now!)
It always amazes me that no matter what you do in your life you will always end up being judged on whether or not you have a partner in your life!
To be honest the 'Got a man yet?' question isn't even the one that stumps me the most. The question that really leaves me at a total loss for words is 'why are you still single?'. I hate that question soooo much! People say it to my face or they ask my friends why I'm still single and my friends relay it back to me. Now, I know my friends tell me because they see it as a compliment, because it is said meaning 'I don't understand why she is still single' but it is a question I can't answer in a nice polite way so I generally just change the subject. People don't want my answer. My answer is 'I don't know, why do YOU think I'm still single?' But I can't actually ask that because it would obviously just make people feel uncomfortable. Or on the few occasions I have asked it I just get cop out answers like 'you are obviously too fussy' or 'you obviously don't want one'! These answers make me want to scream because I want constructive things like 'you need to smile more', 'you need to listen more', 'change the way you dress', 'don't act quite so blokey', 'don't be so obtrusive', 'lose weight' or 'be softer'. Whatever it is, JUST TELL ME! There has to be reason, there is always a reason for things.
Have you ever seen the show 'Get Smart'? I never liked the show but I always remember the closing credits to that show when Maxwell Smart is walking through the corridor with the huge heavy doors slamming closed behind him . Well that is pretty much what happens to me if I'm talking to a guy that interests me! All those doors slam closed around me blocking any part of the real me! So it isn't that I don't want a permanent guy in my life, I just don't know which me to be in order to get one! I am a terrible flirt so I pretty much gave up attempting to flirt when I was 17, it just felt too fake for me. Sometimes I wish I had one of those little ear pieces in my ear with my two BFs on a radio telling me what to say when I'm talking to new guys (ones that aren't my friends I mean.)because when we were younger they were always the masters of the flirt! Although, the flaw in that, of course is that I wouldn't be being myself!
I remember there was this guy I was 'hanging out' with and I decided to consult my BFs about how I should be acting. (Just as a little side note, one of the BFs literally nearly fell off her chair in Gold Class cinemas purely out of excitement that I was talking like this about any guy!!) I would come to one of them and say things like 'but he got angry when a random guy was just asking me if I was having a good night' and she would say 'oh but that is nice, it just means he cares'! So I would go away thinking, Okay, I must be looking at this the wrong way! I actually used to ask them what to say and how to act but eventually I realised I just wasn't being myself (and that I actually thought he was an idiot), which to me, defeats the purpose of spending time with someone.
Not long ago I went on a blind date/coffee with a guy and it was torture!!! I was asking all these questions(because everyone always says you should listen to what the guy has to say) and all I was getting were one word responses. It also didn't help that about 9 different people I know were having coffee in that same cafe, all watching, curious to see who I was with. This was when it occurred to me that in your thirties, when people are trying to set two single people up, the only prerequisite is that they are both single and breathing! The set up very rarely has anything to do with interests and personality. Although, in saying that, one of my friends said not that long ago that he met the perfect guy for me, that his personality was so much like mine, the only problem was that he was married!!! (That's great, yeh thanks for that!!)
So tonight I had a look at one of those Internet dating sites, it was more out of curiosity than anything else. (For the record, I don't think there is anything wrong with people using these sites, I've just never done it myself.)
I found the questions on the application form very interesting. The questions were all answered on a one to ten basis and they were questions like 'how attractive are you?', 'Do you like helping those in need?', 'Are you a good listener?'. I mean come on! Are people really answering these questions completely honestly? There was a whole section on how your friends would describe you. I know how I'd like my friends to describe me but I'm sure how they actually describe me is a totally different thing!!
Now as I get older I find a lot of my good friends are unable to go out with me as much because of other commitments (understandable). When I do actually go out with them I'm generally enjoying myself so much with them that I don't have time to be meeting men. Plus times are different now. When the girls get time away from husbands, boyfriends and kids we just want to do dinners and quiet drinks so we can catch up properly (which I totally love). When the boys get time away from wives, girlfriends and kids they just want to have boys nights as a total break. So the opportunities to go out and meet guys have become less and less. Of course you go out with new people but nothing ever beats the you that you can be when you are around the friends you love and are most comfortable with. So as a result, as a single, you kind of get left in limbo a bit.
I don't want to give the wrong impression, it is not like I think about this stuff all the time, it is just when people like to remind me how my time is running out it obviously plays on my mind a bit! I mean apparently time is running out so fast for me, I barely had enough time to finish this blog!!!
Until next time,
the last single 34 yr old woman....i like long walks on the beach and....RELAX I"m joking, I"M JOKING!!!
xx
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A new life....
When I was five one of my first memories of year one was that I got an extra piece of cake when the prac. teacher was leaving because my best friend was her cousin. Believe me, that is so exciting for a 5 year old! We had an instant bond my best friend and I, (for the purpose of this blog we'll call her BF1) but I can't remember how we actually became friends, it is strange really, that I can't actually remember how I became friends with my best friend! I remember her coming to my house to play a lot. We used to wear one of my roller skates each! (not boot skates at that time but the ones you had to wear sneakers with!). I remember making microphones out of toilet rolls and aluminium foil and also making wonder woman cuffs out of aluminium foil. I remember her mum picking me up from school when she was sick and hiding me behind the curtains as a surprise for her. (I think she was expecting a bigger surprise)I remember throwing up when I saw her throw up, so we both got sent home sick!
I remember performing her play 'Popcorn' in front our whole school in year 7. I remember being two of three people who refused to perform 'take the pressure down' for the poor disabled school cleaner's 70th birthday (we were mortified!). I remember stealing locuts from the priests trees!
I remember meeting BF1's glamorous cousin when we were in year 8. I remember each of us standing up for each other in high school.
I remember going into the city every weekend. Actually it started out as just going to the local shopping centre and literally 'doing laps', then sometimes to the local tennis courts where 'everyone' used to hang out.
The best memories, of course came when we left school. We started going out every weekend. It wasn't long after that we started hanging out with her (glamorous) cousin. I don't quite know when her cousin and me formed a bond but we did and we started going out a lot together as well (so now she is BF2). We have had some crazy times, the three of us! We have traveled together, we sang in a couple of bands together (don't ask!) we have laughed together and cried together. I've had the best laughs with both of these girls (i know we are all ladies but we are all still girls to me).
I remember when they both announced their engagements to me! So exciting!
I remember when BF2 rang me half an hour after she gave birth, she doesn't remember, because of the drugs, but I will always remember.
I remember standing next to BF1 when she got married!
I remember standing next to BF2 when her first daughter got christened (I was Godmother).
We have had our moments, my two Bfs and me, we are, after all 3 very strong minded women. We have shared so much. We know so much about one another and we share a bond that I can't describe. We have been tested and tried, and we got through.
Bf1 and I can talk on the phone for over an hour every time! A few weeks ago we spoke for nearly 3 hours but it was worth it, we put the whole world straight.
BF2 and I very rarely go a day without texting each other (even the smallest, most trivial things).
These friendships have lasted such a long time. Now they are better than ever.
BF1 had a baby boy yesterday! I'm desperate to meet him but she lives in a different state. I've seen one photo but I already adore him. I can't believe that the same person i played with when I was 5 has just had a baby!!! This new life is so refreshing, so exciting....so...NEW! I am so excited!
Until next time,
the last single 34 yr old
I remember performing her play 'Popcorn' in front our whole school in year 7. I remember being two of three people who refused to perform 'take the pressure down' for the poor disabled school cleaner's 70th birthday (we were mortified!). I remember stealing locuts from the priests trees!
I remember meeting BF1's glamorous cousin when we were in year 8. I remember each of us standing up for each other in high school.
I remember going into the city every weekend. Actually it started out as just going to the local shopping centre and literally 'doing laps', then sometimes to the local tennis courts where 'everyone' used to hang out.
The best memories, of course came when we left school. We started going out every weekend. It wasn't long after that we started hanging out with her (glamorous) cousin. I don't quite know when her cousin and me formed a bond but we did and we started going out a lot together as well (so now she is BF2). We have had some crazy times, the three of us! We have traveled together, we sang in a couple of bands together (don't ask!) we have laughed together and cried together. I've had the best laughs with both of these girls (i know we are all ladies but we are all still girls to me).
I remember when they both announced their engagements to me! So exciting!
I remember when BF2 rang me half an hour after she gave birth, she doesn't remember, because of the drugs, but I will always remember.
I remember standing next to BF1 when she got married!
I remember standing next to BF2 when her first daughter got christened (I was Godmother).
We have had our moments, my two Bfs and me, we are, after all 3 very strong minded women. We have shared so much. We know so much about one another and we share a bond that I can't describe. We have been tested and tried, and we got through.
Bf1 and I can talk on the phone for over an hour every time! A few weeks ago we spoke for nearly 3 hours but it was worth it, we put the whole world straight.
BF2 and I very rarely go a day without texting each other (even the smallest, most trivial things).
These friendships have lasted such a long time. Now they are better than ever.
BF1 had a baby boy yesterday! I'm desperate to meet him but she lives in a different state. I've seen one photo but I already adore him. I can't believe that the same person i played with when I was 5 has just had a baby!!! This new life is so refreshing, so exciting....so...NEW! I am so excited!
Until next time,
the last single 34 yr old
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