And the white flag goes up.

Ok, so i have been extremely non committal with my blog over the last 12 months. This got me thinking that, as with most things in life, when something becomes a chore, it is time to stop. I seem to have lost a bit of my creative mojo over the last year. I have barely written, and I haven't picked up my SLR camera or even my 'happy snap' camera in more than a year. I feel now, it is time to raise the white flag and surrender to the fact that my blog days are numbered (at least for now).
This then got me thinking about how there are some things you really do have to just give up on. Some dreams, some goals, even some friendships just don't last forever. While it is lovely to think that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to, the reality is, that there are some things, that for whatever the reason, you may not achieve.
The question is do you give up and move on to new and better or do you continue to live your life in hope?

I have no answer to this question but I do like to believe that with every ending, comes a new beginning. (clearly I'm using 'stopping my blog' as a metaphor for other things in my world, as of course, the blog is just a teeny tiny factor).
There may feel like there is a black hole in your world at first but eventually you know you will pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move onwards and upwards. In saying that, I believe it is ok to spend 5 minutes mourning whatever it is you've given up on, very often these dreams, hopes, friendships or behaviours have been with us for years.

As for my blog, I believe I have always stayed true to myself, always being honest and real and never trying to be anything I'm not.

I am me, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Thanks, for the support, the comments and the smiles.

Until another time and place,
the last single 36yr old woman xx

In hindsight......

So I have been feeling well below par of late. It would be hard to describe why, there has been so much going on. There has been a lot of internal questioning going on about many things. I have been finding it very difficult to find the answer or reason to most of it.
It seems the realist in me has taken over and the girl that used to be able to take me to a better, happier, fantasy place to escape the world, has disappeared. I have no idea of what my future holds, and I sometimes wish to become more naive and not so realistic.

It is no secret that my father passed away last year. I am surprised at the scar that this has left me with. I don't know if maybe it is the circumstances in which it happened or if it is that the strength I had when it all happened has worn off but I have been feeling the aftermath a quite a bit of late. I have also felt it maybe a bit late in the game to discuss that time with people. Tonight it suddenly occurred to me that it is exactly 7 months since it all happened. I think about those dreaded three weeks every single day. I know I probably shouldn't rehash things from that time but I think it may take a little longer than expected to start feeling completely normal again.
Although I have a lot of stuff going on at the moment,and I probably choose to talk about hardly any of it, I think the key, underlying fact that finally I can admit is, and I finally should admit is, I just miss my Dad.

Until next time,
the last single 36yr old woman